Unknown Speaker 0:03
Good morning, afternoon or evening, I am so thrilled that you're here. And wherever you are, I hope you're having a great day. And if you're not, I'm glad that you're here. Because hopefully this episode helps to brighten your day and helps to give you a little bit more courage and faith in knowing that you are on the right path. And this episode, we are going to dive in to, you know, it's going to be an interesting conversation for myself to have with you. So it's another solo cast today. And with Easter around the corner, and recent general conference with the Mormon church and some things that have been going on in my personal life, it felt like a good opportunity, and a really perfect timing to dive into Jesus and Christianity and some pieces there that, you know, I've recorded an episode Oh, my goodness, I think it was last year, called Living in the shadow shadow of the cross. And it's something that I've sat with and seen in my practice, and personally worked with, in my own healing with how much of our society has been indoctrinated with this idea of Christ on the cross, and how we all have such deep programming, and living in the shadow of that cross living in the shadow of someone who supposedly died for our sins. And so therefore, we are sinners, and we need to be saved. And this idea to, that we can't save ourselves. And that if we do try to step out of the norms, and out of the constructs that have been built for us, and somewhat by us, that we have this deep subconscious holding, that we will be crucified. If we step out and really stand more and more in who we feel like we truly are, we have this deep, unconscious fear that we will be killed. Because Jesus was and it wasn't just Jesus, it was if you go back in history, there have been several figures that have been killed for listening to God for standing in their own truth for being a change maker at the time that they were alive. Joan of Arc is one of those people, and there are so many different individuals throughout our time in history who have embodied this, and the the glorification. And the monetary gain, in my opinion, and the power gain, in my opinion of what has been created from Jesus's death. And resurrection has been a
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a tactic for controlling the people. And as I'm saying this, I want, I want you just to be open minded to the possibility of some of the things that I'm going to share throughout this podcast, a possible truths. When we become so fixated in a Facebook group that I'm a part of somebody had asked, you know, what do you do with God once you leave religion? And that's such a big question for many people. And I and I have my new book is releasing here in a few weeks. And I touch on this in in that book, but I want to cover it here, when we hold on so tightly, to a belief of anything, it doesn't give room for anything else to come in. And so when we start becoming more curious of our personal growth and curious of what is possible, it helps us in letting go of cognitive dissonance that will happen and also allows for possibilities of new truths to come in. Because as we as humans, as you go through your process of evolution and, and learning and growing and expansion, you will be able to have more truth come in. It's like as our as a child, right? When we're we have our babies and for those of us that are parents, as we've helped our children grow into who they are today, we couldn't have taught them to walk before they crawled. You know, they needed to first drink milk before they had solid foods and you introduce things into their lives slowly because it's part of their progression as humans on this planet. And it's similar to our evolution and to our growth and the things that we get to experience God. God comes in many forms. And in our history, God has been many forms. Ely, even people when you dive into history, and these godlike forms that had been on the earth, it's possible that they were actually another type of species that was here long before we came in. And because they seem to have more technology or more capabilities or more access to their inner knowing things, as humans or as the human species at the time, we then personified them as a god. And so it's possible. And in my belief, there are many, many types of gods. And for those that are within religion, God looks like a white Mormon male that sits on a throne, if you will, and is the mediator of who gets into heaven and who does not. But that is just one version of God into them that God is true. And so because they believe that God is true, that God does exist for them. For me, and I've shared this before, God is very, very, very different. He's very different. And it's not a he, it's an unambiguous, there's no gender, to the God that I have a connection with now. But I wasn't able to have that connection to the God that I have now until I was able to let the God that I knew die, and then go through my own process, which was several years of identifying with whatever felt true and okay and safe for me at the time, to then be brave enough to ask to actually see what God is. And then I was able to receive for me what that was, and I'm open to that continuing to evolve. And so like Jesus, and the story of Jesus, and the stories that we have been fed, and told from translations out of old texts, and if you know anything about the cure, cure form tablets, and some old, old old documents, and tablets that have been found, that are, really,
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we're having more and more things discovered, that are redefining our history as we know it. And it's not really out there. Because if we, religion and even our schooling systems, if they were to acknowledge some of the history, the true history that has been discovered, like the Egyptian pyramids being older than what we have been taught that they are, it completely changes our entire timeline and brings a lot of questions into the truth of who we are and where we came from. And that disrupts that disrupts the education system, it disrupts religion. And so it's not out there, however, you can go find truth for yourself. And so with Jesus and the story of Jesus, in the stories in the scriptures, there's truth in all things. However, in my opinion, a lot of these truths have been slightly skimmed. And if you have ever had any relationship with someone in your life to where they seem brilliant, they're very, very intelligent, but something just doesn't quite land. But you can't quite put your finger on what it is because they're so intelligent, and they seem more intelligent than you. And though the knowledge that they seem to have and, and how they're able to communicate it, just, you're hearing it and you haven't come in and you're listening, but something just is off, and you can't quite put your finger on it. This I feel like is what religion has done with truth, it is taken this translation that they have deemed as the appropriate translation based off of these ancient ancient tablets. And they've taken this and they have slightly altered this truth. So it is just barely missing the mark. It is just barely skimming by so there's a lot of truth in it, which is why a lot of us bought into religion, because we could fill that that was that this there was truth here. There's truth in these stories. And there is truth in these stories. But there's just a slight twist a slight off, you know, just going off the center point to me, how do I want to play in my opinion to to alter it just a tad so that you don't know that you have every single part of this wisdom within your DNA within your cells, and you have every ability to access the God within you. I've really appreciated if you follow Dr. Julie Hanks I've loved how she she steps more and more into hey, here's boundaries. And recently I saw a post of hers with somebody asking, you know what if I receive an inspiration that's different from the authorities in my, you know, the priesthood authorities or even the prophet, and if I remember correctly, she said that you should go with your personal inspiration. You should listen to that. And you get to have personal boundaries. And I've so appreciated that she's standing more and more into that in that as a Mormon and taking that sovereignty of who you are as an individual. And this right here is where I feel like religion gin has intentionally altered truth, just a hair. And that hair takes you off from knowing that you, my friends have every access to the God within you to that Christ within, that has every ability to create alchemy, to create healings to know the divinity that that resides within you and to find and claim your spiritual center. And as we're coming upon Easter, it is a beautiful, beautiful time for sacredness in whatever that looks like for you. And I know a lot of us go through this and that, you know, how do we celebrate Christmas? How do we celebrate Easter. And I would encourage you to actually find that place within you. That is curious as to what gets to be created. Now. What gets to be honored now, to me, Christ is very much a part of my life. Christ is very much a part of in this room, as I'm sitting here recording this meditation I have a Buddha Christ that sits behind me, which is kind of comical that a good friend of mine had given to me for my birthday, and I love it. It's Christ in a meditation looking like Buddha. And then you know, as I'm, my mom is selling one of her anyway,
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a home of hers. And we have a lot of old family stuff. And in that home and as we were going through, you know, she was telling us to take whatever, whatever it is that we wanted to take. And there was these cute little giraffe figurines. It's like a mother draft and a little baby one that I remember from so vividly from my childhood being in I believe it was by our piano, that just brings good memories that of course, I want to I want to bring that I want to hold that. That beautiful innocence of that childhood that I that I had. And with it as I'm going through there is this up in my what used to be my dad's office, and the room that he actually died in is this, which I didn't actually realize until I just said that. But there is this Jesus, this beautiful Jesus statue that's not very big. And he's holding a lamb. And I don't know why this is getting me emotional. But he's holding a lamb. And there's such a softness and a sweetness in this and is on the top shelf. So I had to reach to grab it. And I hesitated I was like, why am I grabbing this because this is tied. You know, my mom is probably the one who bought it. And it's probably tied to Mormon religion. And so I hesitated, but it just kept calling me. And so I grabbed it. And now it's sitting, you know, in my, in my treatment room in my office here. And as I'm staring at this beautiful statue, the embodiment of Christ in this lamb. There's so many different layers of truth in this. And in religion. We have found and a lot of people have found solace in Jesus. And Jesus is the peacemaker. And yet Jesus was 100%, a rebel at the time that he lived, he went against the constructs, and against the religion at the time. And there's so much, there's so much comedy to me, when I look at the Jesus that I know now compared to the Jesus that I knew and in the constructs within religion, holy cow, such a night and day difference. And I'm, I am grateful that I continued to be curious as to what and who Jesus was to me. Now that had to go I had to go through some pretty angry, fuck you Jesus moments, and fuck you God moments and excuse my French. But sometimes there's no better word to place when you're in that space. And I went through that, and I moved through that because that was part of my grieving process, that anger of what in the hell and, and moving through those places within me to really clear and cleanse and ring that fire energy of the anger and the emotions that then got to burn that place within me out and allowing for the grieving to come and happen and then and then be in a space to where I could be open to curiosity of what is the truth for me in this relationship. And for me, Christ. Christ is the embodiment of the wholeness that gets to be experienced here on this earth. Christ is embodiment of both pleasure and pain of both shadow and light, of polarity of duality. The Garden of Gethsemane, he brought in all things within his cells, which created both pleasure and pain. There's a really beautiful book that I'm reading right now and And, and of course, I'm spacing, the name of it, oh, the existential kink.
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And in our society, especially after religion, the shame and the guilt that we hold is one of the most damaging emotions that we carry. And I believe in another episode, I shared some recent experiences that I went through with healing another layer of shame within myself, that was fascinating to experience. And part of that, that shame that I experienced was was ignoring and putting to the side a part of who I was, and the part of who I am. And because society had deemed that as a shadow aspect, and something that I should shame, I shunned her i shun that part of me. And now I have brought that in and to mean to my experience, Jesus, embodied and Britt embraced every single part of him, which included those parts that in our current society, he would be ridiculed, shamed and mocked for. And yet he embraced it. And he embraced the energetics that were in the planet at the time, of all things, which created a massive change in his cellular structure, that he literally bled from every pour, that he had this fire alchemy within this burning within that cleanse and alchemize and assisted him and his progression through what he was here to do what he had chosen into, you know, with this, there was I don't know if you've seen it, but after conference, there was a lot of memes going around with I can't I don't remember who it was, that supposedly had said something about if you had a family member that has left religion, you should treat them as Judas. And there's a lot of really upset people and I, you know, I I've been sitting a lot recently with how much I sit neutrality when it comes to religion, and Should I not have a stronger voice with me, you know, being upset at something or another, and the truth is I that doesn't reside within me anymore. And I'm grateful for that. Because it, there's truth in all things and, and at the same time with this quote that was going around, it was a miss truth. And I've heard and I've seen people communicate that, you know, what he was saying, was along these lines, and here again, is this interesting fasten fascination, this phenomenon about slightly missing the mark. And let's say this, this, whoever it was that had this converse, this speaking thing was talking about, you know, members of your family or friends or community who've left, who then decide to attack you or attack religion or say what's wrong, then you should treat them as Judas. And who knows if he actually said that we're Judas, I don't know. There's truth in this, because who the heck do we think we are to be criticizing their religion, if they're choosing into it, let them choose into it, let them buy into whatever it is that they're buying into. It really actually doesn't affect you, outside of you choosing to let it bother you so deeply. Why does it bother you so much? Why should it if your family members are choosing to treat you in a certain way? Is it actually because you're holding some sort of guilt or shame within you that's allowing for that to happen? Is there a boundary that needs to be created? We are ultimate creators of our reality. So what you're seeing in your world, what feedback you're getting in your world, is just feedback for something within you that's asking for attention, period, you are the ultimate creator of your reality. Jesus Christ embodied that. And he wasn't Christ until much later in his life when he went through a big, big awakening. And he went through some probably pretty painful things, and he was not perfect. He had his imperfections. And that was part of the beauty of His human experience. So if you're being pig pained and triggered, and having these things that are just You're being so upset over, I would ask yourself this question here. Where are those places within you that are not 100%? Certain and okay with the choice that you've made to leave religion? Because you're looking for out out external validation that you're right. And if you can't get right within yourself, first, you will not get that in your external world. This is all the power of choice, my friends. You have the choice and the power of choice to choose how you're going to react and interact with the world and especially within yourself.
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and everyone else has the power of choice as well. Allow for people to choose what they're going to choose. Why are you watching conference? Why are you paying attention to these things that you know, you know, goddamn well, they're going to upset you, you're almost probably looking for something to be upset at, and you will find it. Because you're looking you're seeking for that. That's how amazing our world is. If you're looking for pain and looking for things to be pissed off about the Mormon church or about any religion, you will find it. Or you can go into the place of oneness of recognizing there is truth in all things. And at one point in time you chose into this religion you chose into that belief system. Honor it, love it, appreciate yourself for what it gave you at the time, heal whatever needs to be healed and alchemize within you, and love those that are choosing to stay in you guys. This is what Christ embodied. Christ invited bodied, ultimate unconditional love for himself first, and then for others, and Judas. What if Judas actually was part of the grand plan, and Jesus knew it, he knew that there was someone that he would love and trust dearly that would ultimately betray him. But he needed that betrayal so that he could then go through the next process of his life path that he chose into. If you dive more and more into the story of Jesus, Jesus went through a lot of training, a lot of personal growth and a lot of practices, if you will, in the pyramids. And through a lot of different you know, he was in a scene if you know anything about the Essenes, I believe very strongly, he was in a scene. And he went through a lot of personal processes and practices and different things to assist him in attaining the place that he was going to go to, which was to show us all the death is not the end, that we can embody all things good, bad, and become the oneness in this physical form, and ultimately become God in carbonate, God informed because we are souls, and spirits asking to have a physical expression and a physical experience. And I believe strongly that we are asking to understand and know and feel and experience what it is to be God in a physical form. So in that, if you every single one of you that's listening right now, for this minute just took a deep breath. And asked yourself, if I truly believed that I was in God and training and that I am learning to be come a god in form. Where in my life, would I be a little softer with myself and with others? Where in my life would I find places to show unconditional love? Where in my life can I actually see and honor someone in their journey, exactly where it is for being perfect, even if I don't agree with it. And this especially has something to do with our children, where and our partners and our good friends and our family members, just like you are choosing your path and how you're living and walking and moving through your path. So are they they are doing the best they can with what they have, just like you. And in any moment, you can choose differently, you can choose again, and you can choose a different path, you can choose a different little trajectory, as far as how you're wanting to embody your form today. And as we move into this Easter season, and to this reemergence in this birth, you guys, I'm so excited to start writing my next book. And actually I've started writing it I was writing it this morning, which prompted this this podcast to be recorded. And that book is all about the reemergence of the Christ within because I really believe truly, that we have access to so much knowledge and wisdom that is held within ourselves and within our DNA.
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And the more we allow ourselves to let go to remove those layers that are held deep within our psyche and deep within our subconscious mind which includes the old holding of what Jesus is on this planet. It allows for more information to come in. Again when we hold so tightly onto a belief to an emotion to whatever it is, it doesn't give space for anything else to come in, because we're holding so tightly. It's like having blinders on and being in the forest and all you can see is this freaking tree that's in front of you this goddamn tree that won't move. And it's like, if you could just take a breath and actually allow your, your view your vision to open up, you would see that this ginormous tree in front of you. Good, you can just step around it, it's not even a big deal. And you're making something a lot bigger than it gets to be than it needs to be. And it's probably part of your process to what are the gifts and the wisdom that are being held in that tree that is right in front of you, that you need that you get to look into and see. So that you can put it down that you can let go. And then all of a sudden you can see that path right around that tree. I know for the last few weeks, and I recently posted about this and I it feels important to to speak on. For the last few weeks, I personally have been going through some really, really uncomfortable places within me. And nobody likes these places. Nobody loves to be uncomfortable. Nobody likes to go into those places, within that don't feel light. That make us feel heavier as we move through the world. Nobody likes that, including me. And i i years ago, I was so over this idea that we have to embody or personify this idea of perfection. Because Perfection doesn't even exist. You guys, it's the it's this crazy idea that we put out that like someone who's out there speaking truth or is supposed to be an expert can't show you that, hey, guess what they struggle to. That is someone who is lying to you, first of all, and is not being true to themselves. And I don't care who you are, even Jesus, God, the people that have come before as Buddha, every single person has had to go through and will continue to go through uncomfortable places in their life, more and more of those places that are those dark nights of the soul. And we, in my opinion, and what I've seen as a collective, we are going through another layer, we continue to go through these you guys. But we have been going through another layer of pulling up the old maps of what has been written and created and implanted within us and implanted within the DNA and implanted within our, our world constructs. We are literally pulling those up almost like weeds, pulling them out, discarding them, and then asking for this new energy that is so flooding the planet right now. This newness, this new frequency that we're all up leveling into, to be fully embodied and embraced and that feels uncomfortable because what we have known is dying again. And we get to get uncomfortable and being comfortable with the discomfort more and more because we are continuing to go through life death life cycle, and shamanism. We are very familiar with the life death lifecycle, it is a part of life, it is part of our reality, the one constant thing in life is change. And with that change comes death and rebirth, death and rebirth. So as we're entering into this spring season, it is no and this Easter that's coming this coming up and we have Earth Day coming up and all sorts of beauty that's happening on the planet. It is no wonder that a lot of us are leaning into another huge massive layer of purging through ourselves of what gets to die.
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I have a speaker symposium that's coming up in a few weeks, actually less than two weeks. And you know, I've created a lot of things and I've done a lot of things and with everything that I've created, there's always the discomfort and the nervousness that comes with it right well people like it, will they come etc, etc. But there's something with this speaker symposium that has the has rocked me a bit, you guys I'm not gonna lie. And it is the fear of failure for me in my business when I ran mod bod. And I did that for 12 years of my life, almost 12 years of my life. And I had a lot a lot of failures in that in that company. I had a lot of successes too. And ultimately though I feel like I failed And that's something that's still within me that I am continuing to work through. So as I'm creating this speaker symposium, and something I really, really want to grow, and build and continue to do more of these, oh, my gosh, I have had to really, really look at those places within me that are afraid of failure, and leaning in anyway. And stepping in and taking that leap of faith of creating something that I know that I know. And I can feel so deeply the energy that is going to be held in that room with those speakers and myself, on April 24, here's my little plug, you guys, I really want to sell this out. I know how powerful this event is going to be. I know that this is for those truth seekers out there that are learning and desperately seeking like that enter craving, for more knowledge for more information for more access to who you and they really are. This, my friends is one of those days that you will always remember, because the speakers and the topics that we're speaking to, are absolutely stunning and transformative. I as you're listening to this, please go grab your ticket. For the first I have a few more tickets left for the first 50 people, you'll get a free gift. And then a few of the speakers are often offering freebies as well, that you'll get. So it's really go grab your ticket, help me sell this event out, I only have about 100 seats in total. So it's a little bit of a smaller venue. But this is April 24, in Highland, Utah, and it's going to be an epic day. But as Yeah, as I've been creating this, and I feel like I've done a lot of things in my life, this is one of those that has been popping my stuff. But this is just that beautiful call to be actually, I had to remind myself of Oh, I get to be excited and curious as to what gets to be popped. Even though this feels really uncomfortable, and I don't like it. I get to hold that curiosity of great. What do I get to move through now what what other layer within me gets to be shed gets to be let go so that I can fully and more and more fully embody all of who I am. And so with that, and with this conversation with Jesus and this fascinating piece that we in some level are holding that we're living in the shadow of the cross, we're living in the shadow of his atonement that was taught to us that he did which in my belief is not true. He did come to show us that we can and we are our own saviors. We do not need anyone to save us. And that's right. There's that hook within religion. If you believe that you need to be saved from something outside of yourself, you will buy into religion, you will be hooked in, and a lot of people are buying into that and that's okay. And a lot of you are not. And a lot of you are choosing out and yet are probably still looking for a savior somewhere else. And my my ask of you today, my friends, is to ask within yourself, Where can I save myself today? Where can I find those answers within me? Where can I lean a little bit more into trusting myself today? Where can I practice a little bit more of self love today? Where can I heal within me that's asking to be healed what needs to be seen and witnessed and expressed within me for my own personal validation for my own personal awareness for my own personal growth, that has nothing to do with anyone else outside of you. This is one of the biggest disservices in my opinion that religion does with teaching and programming
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individuals to believe that they are not capable of finding their own answers of finding their own wisdom, their own medicine that resides within them. Within each and every single one of you and like you're listening to this podcast, reading books, I've read so many books that have been game changers in my life. We get to seek those things with you know outside of us that help us learn and cultivate that wisdom that is within of learning from other people and and asking to be you know, what gets to be learned what gets to be witnessed what gets to be seen so that I can then pull it in for more wisdom more access to my own information. I had someone recently reached out to me and expressing some things that they were going through and asking for me to give them some answers and And I reminded them that this was just part of their deconstruction from religion. And it is so often that we do that, and that's okay. It's normal, for goodness sakes, I left Mormonism and I dove into Wicca, which was a beautiful thing. But it was just another. For me at the time, it was just another form of something outside of me and giving me answers. And at the same time, it actually taught me about myself too. So finding and learning and leaning more and more into those places within that get to be seen through different vehicles, whether it's reading a book going, you know, taking an online course, or going to a retreat, or whatever it is, I would just ask that as you're going through all these different experiences in your life, to, to ask yourself what feels true, what feels true to me, what is my truth and asking yourself, maybe it's a daily morning meditation that you have, of where can I see more of my truth today, where can I find more of my truth in this moment, and, and really cultivating a practice of finding those truths within of leaning more and more into the God within the Christ within that resides within each and every single one of you.
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This is such a beautiful time to be alive on this planet. And I'm excited, I'm so excited to be a part of this time in our history, and time in our life, of a really moving through these energies of this world that feel heavy to a lot of people. And yet, in the shadows, there's so much light to be had, and so much light to be filled. And that integration of both the dark and the light, the shadows and the light within us, brings us some of our greatest gifts. And I would encourage you to embrace more and more of your shadows to bring it more and more into wholeness to bring it more in tiny. And again, I talk about it all the time, because it's one of the most beautiful practices in shamanism in my opinion. And it is the practice of being in right relationship. And right we're when we're in right relationship with ourselves that reverberates out. And I believe that my friends is part of what we're here to experience is that we as a collective, as a collective group of individuals and human on this planet, are literally creating the calamities that we're seeing our subconscious and our consciousness is creating the different experiences that we're having. So when we can embody and embrace more and more of that wholeness within the shadows and the light, the parts of us that do want to experience money and greed and power, and whatever it is, our sexual sides, the central parts of us, when we can really embrace and acknowledge that those parts live within us. It won't create as a much of a need to experience on the X out of ourselves, the external. And again, if any of this is pinging for you, or you're curious to dive a little bit more into this, I would highly, highly recommend getting that book, the existential kink. It is a beautiful, beautiful book. So with all of that, I know that you are truly amazing creators know that this is a beautiful time to lean into the rebirth that is happening on the planet, even in celebrating Christ's resurrection. We, you know, I? Oh, it's the beautiful author of The Game of Life, Florence Scovel, Scovel Shinn, that says, we as Christians celebrate the empty tomb and forgiveness like that is what Christianity is founded upon. And the empty tomb is just the idea that we can transcend death. And in that, we get to also embrace fully death and life, death and rebirth. So here's an opportunity this weekend is we're going into eastern where within you gets to be celebrated that resurrection, that rebirth within you, what is asking to be birthed. What's asking to die and what's asking to be rebirth. And as you go through this week, I hope you sit with that a little bit of what gets to die, what gets to be brought to the light gets brought gets to be seen and witnessed. And then let go and then walk us to be fertilized that death happens. It's fertilizer for new growth. oath, what gets to come in? Sending you all so much love. As always, please head over to my website, subscribe to my newsletter, check out the upcoming offerings that I have. I have a beautiful writing retreat that I will be co facilitating with my publisher, Cara Polson in May. That's in Springdale, Utah. I have my speaker symposium coming up in April, April 24. That That day is $149 for the day, and it includes lunch. However, if you have any dietary restrictions, please bring your own food as we can accommodate, unfortunately,
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those needs and then I have my book that will be coming up here soon. So head over there, leave me a positive review, and share these this podcast and these podcasts with your friends. I know that they have been so helpful to many, many people. And if you are feeling the call to come on to this podcast to talk about your religion story, or talk about how you have found your spiritual center after religion, reach out to me I love, love, love having guests, and I've had several interviews scheduled and they keep kind of getting rescheduled just because of different things that happen in life. And so it gives me an opportunity to speak to you and do a solo cast and I love, love, love the interviews that I get to do so if you're feeling the call and you want to come on, reach out to me. And as always, please remember you are not alone in your journey. If you're needing help reach out, reach out to people because we are more powerful together than we are alone. And my Facebook group leading religion those we leave behind, I am starting to try and grow that and being more attentive to it. And there's also a really beautiful, empowered former LDS I believe is what it's called that that one is a larger group that's very active. That is a beautiful Facebook group as well if you're looking for a community. So with all of that, have a beautiful day, a beautiful week, and just sending you all so much love
